PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
