U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
