this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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