well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
