i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
