Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I AM VODKA MAN
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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