My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
