I just saw a hot homeless man
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
