He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
