You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
