Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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