at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
