If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
