Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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