Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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