Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
