Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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