Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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