My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
