some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
