Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
she smelled like a LAN party
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
They are going to name an STD after you.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
