God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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