Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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