"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
