"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
