I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
