I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
