it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
