I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
