He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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