Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
