Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
