Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
