What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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