turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
