Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
