i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
