Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
