when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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