I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
