You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
