no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
