At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
