That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
