Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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