I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
