Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Is it penis luge time yet?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
