so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
