The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
