I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
