Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
How does one acquire holy water?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
