You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
