based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
