She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
